Mirror, Mirror....Where have I gone?
Updated: Dec 22, 2020
“I have a duty to speak the truth as I see it and share not just my triumphs, not just the things that felt good, but the pain. The intense, often unmitigated pain. It is important to share how I know survival is survival and not just a walk through the rain," Lorde wrote in The Transformation of Silence into Language & Action.
Have you ever looked in the mirror and not recognize the person looking back at you?
It is not just the wrinkles or the gray. It not just the weight or untoned muscles. It’s also the sadness behind the eyes. It’s also the exhaustion that is written all over my face.
Where have I gone, I wonder? This is not who you use to be. This didn’t just happen overnight. This happened little by little, day after day. The requirements of life just keep chipping away. It is how water ends up reshaping a stone. Drip after Drip after Drip. Not through force, but through persistence.
I want to look away. But if I do, I know nothing will change? Maybe I should just avoid the mirror, but isn’t that part of how I got to this point anyway. Just ignore, look away, do nothing. Who, then, do I really have to blame? Blame, oh blame. Why do we always look to place blame?
I wonder how others see me? Do I really want to know? Would they really care?
The time has come to walk away. The demands of life are calling. Even pounding on the door. No more standing here in self-pity and defeat. Self-reflection time is over. What face will I put on to show the world?
Ok me, ready or not, your going again. It is incredible how a single door can separate what is going in the world of my mind and then just on the other side of the rest of the world.
Right before I step out, I give myself a moment. I close my eyes. I take a breath. And just for that moment, all is quiet. I give myself a pep talk and reach for the door. Well, hello world, here I am. I am ready for more.
I bet you are thinking right now, wait for a second, I thought this brand was about Positivity. I am not sure I am feeling too positive after reading this. Well, I share it because life can be challenging. Life is not all smiles and rainbows. We have to push through some storms. Those storms may come up unexpectedly, last longer then we want, or throw everything it has at us. As much as we don’t like these moments in our life. We need them. We come out on the other side, stronger & wiser. And so maybe our appearance reflects the storm we just went through. Look around you after the next big thunderstorm. Right awards things can look a mess. We are the same way, but with a little time and work, we too mend. And it is through that mending that leads us back to some Positivity. For who I am today is not who I will be tomorrow.