Are you letting negative experiences hold you back?
Updated: Feb 26
It is incredible how life can make you feel every single emotion that you can possibly feel. One day you're feeling all happy and blissful, and the next day, you might feel utterly miserable. Sometimes you feel like a winner, and sometimes, well, you just feel defeated.
We have all experienced the many, many ups and downs of life. It is an ongoing process, and no matter who you are, you can't escape this rollercoaster ride. Even though nobody wants to hear this, the truth is, the rough patches of life or our negative experiences are actually quite necessary. Not only do they help us become a better person, they show us why we should value the good times and positive experiences.
However, there is an imbalance in the way we perceive all of this. And this causes a lot of turbulence in our life. We must realize this and make some crucial changes.
The Human Tendency
When you lose, you cry and cry and cry some more, but when you win, you just move on after a brief celebration, if you even have one at all. Have you ever noticed this? And if you have, do you ever wonder why we do this? Well, it is in our nature. You see, evolution has taught living beings to focus more on the negative aspects of life. Believe it or not, this gives us a better chance of survival.
For instance, in the forest, when a squirrel collects some nuts, it doesn't celebrate. Doing so could take its focus away from any predators that might be lurking nearby. The squirrel spends more time looking out for dangers than it does looking for food. Evolutionarily, those species that are better attuned to the bad things have a better chance of survival.
This tendency of ours makes us focus more on our defeats (or other bad things in life). We try to analyze them to understand why they happened in the first place. We get hurt on an emotional level. The fear that we might repeat the same thing, again and again, overwhelms us. We also start questioning our self-worth and the path we are on.
Therein lies the problem. Focusing on your losses to learn from them and grow as a result is one thing. But if you allow them to hold you back in life, that is counterproductive. What you need to do is adopt mindfulness and see things for what they are.
Let Go of Negative Experiences
If you allow negative experiences like defeats to take root in your mind, they will shackle you before realizing it. They will fill you with fear and doubt and will always hold you back from unleashing your full potential. This will make it difficult for you to pursue your dreams and goals. As you can imagine, that's not the way you should be living your life.
What you need to do is look at your defeats for what they are. Look at them with a non-judgmental lens, and you will realize all the things you can learn from them. Sure, it might still hurt a little, and it is okay to cry for a day. But after that, you need to move on. Forget the hurt but don't forget the lessons. Use them to make yourself a better person. Set the ground for future successes.
And when you finally succeed in life and taste victory, do the same thing. Celebrate for a day, and then move on. You don't want to be complacent, as that may lead you to failures in the future. You probably still have a lot of ground to cover in your journey, and you can't afford to lose precious time. Even if you are at the end of your journey, there is always a new adventure waiting for you!
Successful people always have their eyes set on a higher pinnacle or something even more challenging. It keeps them going and makes life an exciting endeavor. Don't you think you should adopt the same mentality? Don't you want to see for yourself what you can do, or how far you can go? Well, the mantra is easy. Neither defeats nor wins should be reasons for stopping. Keep Moving Forward.